


I'm sorry

by Konoha-No-SasuNaru (ChileanRach)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Sakura is sort of a bitch, Sorry to Sakura fans, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7516672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChileanRach/pseuds/Konoha-No-SasuNaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What will Sasuke do when he sees Naruto fall apart in front of him?</p><p>Or… Naruto does something extreme and dangerous but that might help Sasuke wake up…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Can't say I love you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!  
> Here's an attempt of a fluffy story. It was supposed to be a one shot but… I guess I got carried away ehehehe *scratches the back of her head*
> 
> I would be so grateful to all of you if you leave some feedback in case you read this. It's the only thing that motivates me to keep going. 
> 
> This story is exclusively Naruto and Sasuke. I'm so sorry if you love Sakura. I personally don't like her and she's bitchy here. Please forgive me. 
> 
> Thanks and I love you all
> 
> SasuNaru forever! <3

It was late in the evening and Sasuke was having an intense make out session with Naruto after having invited him for dinner at his place. They were both lying in Sasuke's bed and the raven haired boy was slowly crawling closer to Naruto, every time closer to be over him, which was pretty much his idea, never letting go his soft wet sexy lips. Sasuke was trying hard to get Naruto to give in to him but it was proving to be harder than he thought. 

Naruto enjoyed these make out sessions with Sasuke more than anything. The blond Shinobi had waited for years for Sasuke to come back and it hadn't been too hard to realize that everything he had done through all those years before bringing him back to Konoha was simply because he was in love with him. Helplessly, madly, deeply in love with him. After all, he followed him, made him his rival, set him as his goal, risked his life to save him (many times), they fought the Fourth Shinobi World War together, Sasuke tried to kill him when it finished, they had their big fight and oh, how much he had to fight until he finally got him back, three years passed and they were now somewhere in between their 19s and 20s and Naruto was still there, never even thinking about ever abandoning the black haired boy he'd clang to for so long. 

He knew that Sasuke was trying to seduce him and the truth is, he was dying to just grab Sasuke and do all of those things they both had in mind. The only reason Naruto didn't do it was because he still had a sharp deep pain in his heart. Why? Sakura. Well… Sasuke, as always in the past, managed to have all girls crazy about him, but Sakura, after everything the three of them had gone through, still chased after Sasuke even when she knew Naruto and him had a thing going on. It's true, they were not official. Their relationship had no name or anything but it was there and had been ever since their big fight and Sakura knew it. Still, she got in Sasuke's arms every time she could. That hurt Naruto painfully, both because he had thought he was in love with her in the past and because he thought their friendship was important now. But what hurt his heart the most was that despite all the times Sasuke had said to Naruto that he was the only one who he could ever be interested in, he still allowed Sakura (and other girls sometimes) to cling on to him and he did nothing. He even seemed to enjoy it somehow. Naruto still didn't completely shake off the feeling of being inferior. He was a hero and he had earned everyone's respect and affection and even admiration with hard work, lots of love and many many sacrifices… but well… he had grown up feeling like that. It was not easy for him to just get rid of it, and that feeling made him never be able to complain or freely show how much that hurt him. He was so in love and that pain was worse than any wound and injury he ever had. That was a fucking lot to say. But as he did all his life, he just suffered in silence, not even mentioning it to his dearest friends. 

Sasuke, on the other hand, had still a strong selfish side. He did love Naruto but it was hard for him to admit that he was in love. And yes. He was in love with him. The blond boy with the wonderful blue eyes was all that existed in his world. Since they were kids, they had had a strong connection. A bond that grew stronger and stronger with everything that happened between them in all those years since they were twelve. Or even before, since he was left with no family at all and he could feel Naruto was probably the only one who could be at least close to what he felt in that moment. The thing is that somehow he felt ashamed and even a little guilty for everything he did to Naruto while he was obsessed with power and revenge. He tried to kill him and not only once but twice. He was cruel to him. He told him the meanest and most hurtful things he could think about but Naruto always answered with love, peace and friendship. He had fought the whole world for him and he had done nothing to give all of that back to his blond lover. There was a reason for that anyway. It wasn't only because he was a selfish bastard. It was because in the many encounters they had while he was away, he always asked Naruto why he didn't just give up on him and Naruto always said "because we're friends" and despite not being conscious about it, he probably wanted to hear something else. Maybe instead of "I'm your friend" he wanted to hear "because I love you". 

Once Sasuke had cleared his mind and finally decided to do what he had to do, he went back to Konoha with Naruto. After a few days, when they were both out of hospital (due to the injuries they suffered in their fight) something had changed everything. Naruto was brave. He had been brave enough to go to his house on a rainy night three years ago and drop the bomb… tears of desperation leaving his eyes. 

"I love you, Sasuke. I've always loved you and I'd do anything for you. I never want to let you go again because I will die if you ever leave me again" 

That had been Naruto's confession. That had been the very first time Sasuke had felt happiness. He was finally hearing the words he didn't know he needed so badly to keep living. Sadly, he could only grab him in his arms and kiss him with all he had, hoping for his blond to feel his love for him, but he hadn't had the courage to say I love you back to him. Three years later he still didn't have it. 

After those three years, they spent a lot of time together. A lot. Naruto was still so protective over Sasuke and he'd never allow anyone to hurt him or to make him feel guilty for the things he did in the past. No matter how much he hurt the blue-eyed blond, he always said he understood him and that none of it was his fault. Some would admire his unconditional love but others would just laugh at him but he just forced himself to block those feelings away from him. For now, he just did what he was able to do. Enjoy the make out sessions with Sasuke as much as he could, always keeping the fear of losing Sasuke again in the back of his head, which was another reason for him to never complain about Sasuke flirting with someone else. 

After a lot of crawling, Sasuke finally ended up lying over Naruto. Their kiss was deeper every second and their breaths were turning into pants and moans. They never got their lips apart, no need to catch a breath or anything. Only the intense desire to be together. Sasuke's hands were once again starting a journey over the blond's delicious body and Naruto was having the hardest time holding back and keeping his own hands from traveling around the black haired boy's body. He would have happily eaten the raven boy alive but no. He refused to do anything but making love to the man he loved the most. He wasn't willing to give in to desire and spend just a meaningless night of lust. He had promised that to himself and he always kept his promises. 

Luckily for Naruto, who was starting to lose control over Sasuke's hands, the doorbell rang loudly through the apartment. Sasuke needed all of his will power to let his blond go and head to check the door. Naruto fixed his clothes a little and followed him, seeing him open the door. 

"Hey guys. Am I… uhmm… interrupting something here? Kiba said mischievously smirking as he noticed Sasuke still panting a little. 

"No! No, Kiba. You're not" Naruto said while walking closer to the other two with a serious and inexpressive face. 

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked in a rather angry tone, avoiding the dog boy's eyes. 

"Don't talk to me like that, you baka! I'm not here because I want to. Things at Sakura's apartment are pretty much ready and she sent me here to look for you" Kiba answered and Naruto's mood instantly dropped. A hand unconsciously clenched his chest as the pain came strong, right to his heart. 

"What does she want?" Sasuke asked, a little bothered by only thinking about Sakura. 

"What do I know, teme! She was just screaming around, Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun!" Kiba told them making a funny imitation of Sakura's voice when she screamed. "And I was the first one to cross paths with her so she sent me here" he looked down, visibly really annoyed by all of this. 

Sasuke mumbled a curse before speaking again. "Alright. Thanks, Kiba. Naruto and I will be there soon" he finished and the dog boy left riding Akamaru's back. When Sasuke looked back to the blond, there were no signs of him. He quickly made his way back to the bedroom and there, he found Naruto sitting in the far edge of the bed, breathing heavily and his hand still clutching his chest tightly. As soon as Sasuke entered the room, the blue eyed boy lowered his hand and turned, putting his back to Sasuke's direction, working hard to control his uneven breathing. Sasuke wasn't sure about what he had seen so he decided to let it go and not make a big deal out of it. He crawled up in the bed until he reached Naruto and he hugged him from behind, slowly kissing his neck. 

"Do you want to go right now, Naruto?" Sasuke asked in a low voice. He didn't receive any response, just felt Naruto's body tense under his touch. "Is there something wrong?" He tried again and Naruto had to fight the urge to get his hand back to his chest as new waves of pain stabbed his heart. 

"I think I'm gonna go home. I don't really want to party" Naruto answered faking a big smile and scratching the back of his head while getting out of Sasuke's reach. He tried to laugh the situation off but Sasuke could obviously see the sadness under that smile. 

"But… Naruto. This party was planned like a month ago! You can't chicken up now…" a hint of worry could be heard in Sasuke's reply. 

"I know, Sasuke. But… I don't know. I'm tired. I'm sleepy. I don't want to ruin your night" Naruto said looking down, almost in a whisper. 

"Naruto… Dobe, c'mon. Are you really going to leave me alone?"

"C'mon, Sasuke… all the guys will be there. You won't be alone" 

"You know that's not the same, Naruto. You know I want YOU to be there with me" Sasuke approached and kissed Naruto lovingly, knowing that would pretty much convince him not to let him go to the party alone. 

"Fine, fine! I'll go… Ugh… teme! You always make me do what you want!" He pouted, trying hard to push away his sadness and fears and hoping he could maybe have fun with his raven boy this once, just maybe…


	2. You did say you love me

Everything ended up happening exactly like Naruto had feared. He knew it. He always knew it. And it sucked and he was tired. Angry. 

As soon as they arrived to Sakura's apartment, Sasuke left Naruto to go drink with the guys. Naruto wasn't very much of a drinker. He had a few drinks every now and then but he didn't like to do it much since he always kept in mind Uzumaki Kushina's words. One of the happiest moments in his life, which had been very few, was when he got to meet his mom while fighting to control Kurama and he always remembered the advices she gave him. And it wasn't like he got easily drunk. Unlike Sasuke, he could have a lot to drink and he kept himself in a very decent state. He just didn't do it because he didn't want to. But Sasuke seemed to want it a lot. He was already having a lot of fun with the rest of the guys and obviously, Sakura and Ino, among others. The blond and the pink haired girls were holding Sasuke's both arms and they were happily talking and laughing. But soon, Sakura went closer and closer until she was sitting on the raven boy's lap. Naruto saw this from the chair he was sitting on the other side of the room and the pain in his chest started really bad this time. Shikamaru was looking at the blond carefully and, as smart as he was and as well as he knew his friend, he walked across the room with a beer in hand, perfectly knowing what was happening in Naruto's mind. 

"Will you ever tell him how you feel about this?" Shikamaru said while handing the blond Shinobi a beer. A sad look showed on his features. 

"I don't know what you're talking about…" he replied, receiving the beer and drinking it quickly, always staring at Sasuke and all his moves. 

"Oi, Naruto… It's me who you're talking to. You should know you don't need to hide from me" the Nara boy sincerely said. Naruto looked up at him, taking another big sip from his beer. 

"Shikamaru…" Naruto looked down to stare at the ground. 

"It's ok, Naruto. You don't need to say anything. I know all of it. I just think you should stop torturing yourself and tell him. You need to stop hiding your pain. You love him. And if he truly loves you, he deserves to know he's hurting you" Shikamaru said and walked away to give his friend space. He probably was going to need some time to think. 

Naruto had already finished his beer when his friend finished speaking. He knew Shikamaru was right and that he needed to stop this but he simply wasn't ready to say anything about it yet. He decided that he needed more alcohol and went to the other room to take a bottle of Sake. He found one and he rapidly opened it and started pouring it down his throat. A few minutes later, the bottle was almost empty. He took some steps back to take a look at Sasuke and right when he did, he saw Sasuke pushing Sakura away as she had tried to kiss him. He contemplated the scene some more and saw how Sasuke kept on laughing and grabbing Sakura from her waist to keep her from falling down, despite having rejected the kiss. He saw how both of them were pretty wasted and a sudden fear of what could happen next took over him. He… had had… enough. 

He finished his Sake bottle and grabbed another one, since one beer and one bottle weren't enough to blur his mind up and he left the room heading out the apartment, wanting to delete that image from his eyes. He crossed paths with Hinata in his way out but he just waved at her, not really paying any attention to whatever she had said. He felt bad because she was nice and they were friends but he really… really needed to get out of there. He ran and jumped through several roofs to get as far as he could and he opened the bottle in his hand to keep pouring the liquid down his throat while slowing down his pace. 

One hour later, Naruto was sitting on his father's head. Yes, he was up in the hill with the Hokages' faces. He stared down at the village that had given him so many emotions and, still drinking from the three other alcohol bottles he bought in his way up to the hill, he didn't know what he was feeling anymore. He only knew that he wanted to erase his mind and make the chest pain go away. For the first time in his life, he allowed himself to forget about his mom and he poured the liquor in the bottles to his insides as if there was no tomorrow. He would've done anything he could to just forget. 

Back in Sakura's apartment, Sasuke had stopped drinking since Shikamaru and Choji had gone to sit with him with the task of replacing his beers and Sake filled glasses for non-alcoholic drinks. Shikamaru had had enough of seeing his blue-eyed friend in such big pain and, for historical reasons, it was a sensitive subject for Shikamaru. He had witnessed way too closely how much Naruto had fought when the black-eyed boy left following Orochimaru and then he also saw how much pain Naruto went through after they could not get him back that first time. It had been enough! He couldn't stand seeing how Sasuke kept hurting him even after coming back. The boy in the ponytail knew perfectly well how Sasuke held Naruto from leaving his house to start making out with him for hours. He knew how he used Naruto's weakness for him to get him to never leave him alone. He knew how happy he had been when Naruto finally said him he loved him but he also saw how he never was brave enough to say it back. Before, he had been sure he did love him back, but after witnessing the embarrassing scenes Sasuke and Sakura were playing, he wasn't sure anymore. That's why he convinced Choji to help him get Sasuke sober, hoping that he would notice Naruto's feelings when his mind cleared up. And once again, he'd been right. 

Around two hours after Naruto left the apartment, Sasuke wasn't having much fun anymore. He had gotten Sakura away from his lap and he was desperately looking around the house. Shikamaru immediately realized he was looking for Naruto but Sakura kept forcing him to only look at her, which was annoying Sasuke beyond his edge. Shikamaru had hoped to complete his task in time, before Naruto left, but an hour ago, Hinata had approached them while looking for Kiba and she told them, visibly affected, that Naruto had literally ran away from the place looking very upset. He didn't ran after him because he was aware the blond needed to be alone but he wasn't going to make things easier for Sasuke letting him know Naruto had left. The least he could do was to look for him. 

"Where's Naruto?" Sasuke suddenly asked, standing up from his sit but immediately being forced back down by Sakura. 

"Sasuke-kun! You're with me now!" Sakura shouted angrily. 

"Sakura! I came here with Naruto. I'm not supposed to leave him alone" he stood up again and freed himself from the kunoichi's hold. He started looking for Naruto everywhere and Shikamaru followed him nearly, waiting to see how he'd react when he didn't find him. Sakura followed him too, screaming around things Sasuke didn't care about and wasn't listening to. His mind was mostly clear but he wasn't completely sober so after a few minutes, he appealed to his last resource. 

"Narutoooo!!!! Naruto, where are you!!!" He called for him but the blond man was nowhere to be seen. 

"Narutooooo!! Why did you leave me alone, you usuratonkashi!!!" He kept shouting around the whole apartment until he arrived to where Hinata and Kiba were sitting. 

"Oi, you Baka! What the hell is your problem!" Kiba stood in front of him. 

"Get away! Where the fuck is that dobe! Why isn't he answering… Narutoooooo!!" 

"Enough!!" A female voice broke through the mess that was forming around Sasuke and finally some silence reached the room. "How much longer will you do this to him, Sasuke-kun? Naruto-kun has been gone for a long time already!" The anger was evident as Hinata spoke to the raven boy while Kiba grabbed her waist to try and calm her down. "And you're just noticing he's not here? You're unbelievable, Sasuke-kun…" Hinata turned her back to him and Kiba walked to her still looking at Sasuke who was taking the news in. 

"What…? Naruto…? He's… he's gone?" Sasuke looked passed everyone and everything, just to the emptiness. Shikamaru prepared himself to come into action but he was intercepted. 

"Hey, Sasuke-kun!! Naruto's gone. So what? You're here now. You're with me…" Sakura said trying to sound sexy as she walked closer to try and hug him. And she did. 

"No…" he whispered. 

"C'mon… who cares about Naruto now? You're here… he did us a favor…" the pink haired head buried itself into Sasuke neck and he finally reacted…


	3. I love you, I love you, I love you!

Somewhere else in the village, Kakashi was returning from a mission feeling very tired as it was already very late. All he wanted was to go get into his bed and rest but he noticed something very unusual from the Konoha gates. A small figure with blond hair seemed to be burying itself into the Yondaime Hokage's head. He jumped quickly as the closer he was, the more it seemed like the figure was about to fall right down from the head to the hard ground below it. He was more than surprised when he found big blue eyes lost in the emptiness of alcohol. 

"Naruto…?" He asked softly, kneeling down to look at the blue eyes. 

"Wh-what…" the blond asked back before taking one of the bottles and drinking abundantly from it. Kakashi's eyes widened. He knew Naruto never got drunk. 

"Uhmm… Naruto, what are you doing?" The sensei asked while he tried to take the blond boy away from the edge of the Hokage figure. Naruto immediately complained and started to struggle against him. "Ma… ma. Calm down. Just tell me what's going on!"

"Give me my Sake back!" Naruto shouted. 

"Fine. I'll give you your Sake but please, tell me what's happening…" worry had already taken over Kakashi, but he kinda knew what this must have been about. 

"Leave me alone… Kakashi-sensei. I just want to drink my Sake!!" He screamed somewhere between anger and a stupid smirk. 

"Naruto…"

"Just go! Why don't you visit Sakura-chan's apartment? She and Sasuke must be having so much fun!!!" He screamed in a funny way as he emptied a fourth bottle of liquor and started to open one of the two last ones he had. 

"So this is about him, right? Sasuke…?"

"Kakashi-sensei… please. Please go away" big blue eyes pleaded. "I'm fine, sensei. Just please… please, leave me alone" Kakashi sighed. He didn't want to leave him alone there but he knew he was no use in this situation. 

"Fine, Naruto. I'll leave you alone. Just… I hope you know what you're doing" he took a deep breath and continued. "Please, don't do anything stupid. Please?" Kakashi looked at him with hopeful eyes. 

"I won't" Naruto replied slightly smiling. He said it to make Kakashi calm but the truth is he had no idea what could happen from now on. Kakashi tried to take the last bottle Naruto had there to keep him from drinking himself to intoxication but Naruto was fast and clever even when drunk. He took it before Kakashi could get a single finger nail over it. He sighed once more and disappeared in a puff… 

 

Back in the village…  
"…he did us a favor…" Sakura whispered into Sasuke's ear. Sasuke was lost for a couple more seconds until he finally reacted. 

"Stop it!" He screamed piercing his black eyes into the green ones of Sakura with rage. "Stop it, Sakura! Nothing is happening between you and me!" He spoke clearly. 

"Sas-Sasuke-kun…" Sakura stared at him with wide surprised eyes. 

"Are you listening to me?"

"But why? Sasuke-kun. Why are you saying this to me? There's nothing stopping us now. We can be together now…"

"I said no!" 

And silence was the only thing in the room after the loud and deep scream. 

"Shikamaru… Shikamaru, please. Please tell me where Naruto is" Sasuke pleaded breaking the overwhelming silence. 

"I don't know" he stated simply. 

"Oh please! Why won't you tell me?!"

"I said I don't know where he is! But anyway… what do you want with him? He was here and you let him go…"

"I didn't let him go… I…"

"Yes, you did. You did this, Sasuke-kun. You left him alone and you've done it every time we have had a meeting like this one. He stays with you because we all now he'd do anything for you but it's enough! He probably got tired of watching you flirt around! Are you going to keep denying he loves you? If you don't love him back then just leave him alone!!!" Hinata ended up with tears flowing down her cheeks and Kiba grabbed her and helped her sit and he looked at Sasuke before speaking. 

"Hinata is right, teme. It's been three years and we all know what's happening between the two of you. You think we don't realize? But it's like you don't wanna lose on either side! Why don't you leave him alone? He's with you every second of everyday but still you're here with Sakura, you baka!" Kiba shouted angrily too. They all had come to care about Naruto deeply and they were close witnesses of everything Naruto had gone through to save and protect Sasuke and they were all (except for Sakura and maybe Ino when she drank) tired of watching the blond boy keep suffering even after everything he had already done for all of them. 

"Wh-what? You guys know?" Sasuke asked wide eyed. A blush appeared in his cheeks. 

"Who doesn't?! He doesn't want to do anything with anyone anymore only to not leave you alone! He's never in his apartment because he always stays with you after dinner! Do you want me to remind you, you were just making out with him right before you came here? Or you think I didn't realize it? Let me tell you Naruto does a way better job hiding his feelings than you do…! Shit!!" Kiba finished out of breath as he sat right besides Hinata hiding his face in his hands. But he stood right back. "And you… Sakura… I can't believe you have a face to look at Naruto. After everything the three of you have lived. After everything he has done for you. How many times has he saved your life? How many times he put his own life at risk for you? Almost as many as he's done for Sasuke! He wanted to kill himself the only one time he hurt you and it wasn't even himself, for God's sake! How can't you not be ashamed of what you are doing when you know they're together as well as we all do!" those words said, he sat down again hiding under his own hands. Sakura could only look down… 

"Is there anyone here who knows where the hell Naruto is?" Sasuke shouted and he panted heavily. "I need to… I have to find him. I… I have to tell him!" 

"None of us know where he is. I already said that. But we won't allow you to go look for him if you will just keep making fun of him" Shikamaru answered calmly 

"I have to tell him!!" A single tear ran down Sasuke's pale cheek. 

"What! What do you have to tell him!!" Sakura shouted with so much anger. 

"That I love him!! I have to tell him that I love him, damn it" Sakura's eyes almost popped out of their orbits after Sasuke said that with his last breath. "I love him" he said taking Sakura by her shoulders, forcing her to listen carefully. "I love him more than anything in this damn world. I've never felt anything for you, Sakura. I'm sorry if I ever made you confused. Even though I'm sure it could only have been because of alcohol. Naruto is my one and only and I need to find him and tell him" and with that, he ran out the apartment determined to let his beloved blond know he did love him. And it had to be tonight. 

He went out and started to run but suddenly stopped in his tracks as he realized he had no clue where his blue-eyed boy could be. He was about to make his way to his apartment but obviously Naruto wasn't going to be there. Then he was going to head to Naruto's own apartment but he figured he wouldn't go there either since he probably didn't want to be found. His determination was slowly breaking when, almost miraculously, someone puffed in front of him. 

"Shit!" Sasuke screamed as he jumped, scared of the puff having been so concentrated thinking about where to find the blond boy he needed so badly. "Kakashi…!?" He asked panting. 

"Sasuke…" he answered calmly as he smiled a little under his mask. 

"What are you…? Uhmmm… I have to go, Kakashi. I'm in a hurry…" 

"Did you lose something, Sasuke?"

"What do you want to say to me, Kakashi?" A little bit of anger was coming out in Sasuke's voice. 

"There's something up there at the Hokages hill" Kakashi pointed at the Yondaime Hokage's head. "I think you need to go there" 

"What… Are you serious?"

"Yes! And you need to go now. I don't know what you did this time but the thing up there is getting ugly…" and he puffed again. 

Sasuke left to the Hokages hill even before the smoke completely dissipated. He flew over trees and roofs and the way to get to the Yondaime's head seemed eternal for him. As soon as he reached the hill, he saw a shadow sitting in the ground. He slowly approached the figure and immediately noticed the amount of empty bottles around it. He freaked out when he counted five and saw one more on the figure's hand. His breath got caught in his chest and he felt dizzy with all the guilt falling over his shoulders. He didn't know what to do. He just walked close enough to see the bright blue on the figure's eyes and fell on his knees right in front of him. 

"What are you doing here, usuratonkashi" the blond boy said as he tried to get away but his body was already too numb to respond. 

"Naruto…"

"What!" He replied harshly and Sasuke flinched. "I thought… I thought you were with Sakura by now" his voice came out low as a whisper but there were infinite emotions in it. Disappointment being the biggest. 

"What are you doing here, Naruto…" Sasuke asked in a broken voice as tears started to form in the corner of his eyes. 

"I'm having my own party. I didn't want to bother anyone. I knew I didn't have to go with you…" he sipped his last Sake bottle. 

"Naruto…"

Silence fell upon them and Naruto was completely under the influence of the alcohol. That worried the hell out of Sasuke. He was fully aware that Naruto would never do this unless his pain was unbearable. 

"Go away, Sasuke"

"No…"

"Just get away!"

"No!"

"Why?!!" He paused. "Why won't you leave… You already left me when we were there. Why can't you leave now!" Desperation was now evident in Naruto's voice and Sasuke wanted to punch himself. 

"Because I don't want you to be alone!"

"I've been alone always, Sasuke. I can handle it perfectly" he said again as he drank some more and frowned when he saw the last bottle was almost over. Feeling the liquid burn his throat and stomach was somehow making him feel better. He took the last abundant sip from the bottle and threw it with the others as he started to struggle to stand up from the spot he'd been pinned to for the last three hours. Too bad for him, he couldn't. He only fell to one side and then to the other. 

"Naruto… Naruto…" Sasuke tried. "Naruto!! Stop it!" He screamed feeling helpless as he tried to grab his blond in his arms but the boy wasn't going to stop fighting. 

"Let me go, teme!"

"No! Naruto, please! Please let me help you. Let me take you home… please…" the tears made their way down. 

"Wait!" The blond said when Sasuke finally had gotten him on his feet. Oh no… "Just wait… I… uhmmm" he couldn't say anything else and… oooh no… he fell to the ground on his knees and he raised one hand like signaling him to wait. 

"Naruto… what-" Sasuke was immediately cut off by a very ugly sound. 

Yes, this is Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto. The Shinobi who had changed the world and became the strongest. Yes. It was him. But even the strongest person in the world would succumb to six bottles of Sake in less than three hours. 

The sound of retching took over the whole place and Naruto almost buried his head in the ground as his stomach twisted inside him and sent all its contents back outside. He vomited as he had never done it before. Sasuke could only stare with despair as the blond looked like an open faucet in front of him. He couldn't even catch his breath as one heave came after the other and the liquid didn't stop coming out. Naruto almost fell into his own inner fluids as the gagging was violent, but Sasuke took him from the sides while he clenched his stomach painfully but it wasn't helping. Then, he finally managed to catch his breath but the vomit kept coming out, giving him only enough time to take short breaths. This went on for around ten minutes until the heaves were dry and they slowly died down. Sasuke was trembling. He had never seen Naruto like this. He had never been like this, actually. He felt so guilty and so bad and so helpless and scared. 

"Naruto please. Let me take you home. You… you need to rest. This is… this was not good at all" a few more tears escaped the black eyes and the blond gave in. He was totally exhausted. 

"Ok, Sasuke. I will go with you. But I'll be gone first thing tomorrow" he stood up and tried to walk on his own but he almost gave in to his trembling knees as the dizziness and the nausea were all over him. Sasuke got him right before he fell. He took him bridal style and began to make the way to his apartment, thinking that it was more proper to take care of the blond. After a few minutes of jumping and running, Naruto asked:

"How much until we arrive?" 

"Uhmmm… just ten more minutes. Hang in there" 

"No… Put me down. Put me down now!" He said firmly and Sasuke obeyed, scared. Not even a second later Naruto was emptying his stomach once again. He felt like he was dying but he did not regret drinking all what he drank. His mind was still blurry and he was thankful for that, despite the painful contractions taking over his tummy. A couple of minutes later he was done and they continued the way to Sasuke's home. Naruto insisted that he was walking on his own. He didn't want to feel any proximity to Sasuke's body. They took longer but he made it to the house on his own. Naruto was totally burned out. Tired. Exhausted. He didn't even realize when Sasuke had taken him by his waist to help him climb the stairs to the bedroom. Naruto tried to seem fine but as much as he tried to fight it and swallow it down, he had to run into the bathroom as soon as he opened the bedroom door. He tried to lock the door behind him but the urge to throw up was too big. He barely reached the cover of the toilet to open it and he vomited all over again. Sasuke followed him into the bathroom and stared at him full of worry as he was hunched over the white big bowl. He knew Naruto had over drank but still, throwing up three times in half an hour and in the amount that he was doing it… he feared it would get bad and he didn't know what to do. Naruto was always the strong one. The one that never broke and never gave up. It killed the raven to see his boy like this. Sick, exhausted and vulnerable, not to mention angry. And it was all his fault. He couldn't help but crying at the sight in front of him. He was barely conscious about letting himself cry in front of Naruto but he couldn't handle it anymore. He was frightened as the minutes passed and his beautiful blue-eyed boy was still retching and spitting the fluids from his poor stomach. Soon enough, he was kneeling down by Naruto's side rubbing his back and devastatingly crying. 

"Why… *retch*… why are you crying… usuratonkashi *retch*" he said as he spat the rest of the nasty sickness in his mouth. Sasuke didn't answer and a new wave of puke came up making Sasuke cry harder. Naruto spat and coughed a bit to try and speak again. 

"Hey, teme. I said why are you crying!" He wiped his mouth a little and sat down to look at Sasuke, staying close enough to the bowl because he knew more liquid was gonna come back up in any moment. Sasuke looked at him directly in the eyes and said. 

"I'm scared. Naruto, I-"

He puked again but then spoke. "Why would you be scared, teme…"

"You're still throwing up. I… I don't like to see you like this" he said in a whisper that was full of sadness. 

"I'm drunk…" he spat into the toilet. "What did you expect?"

"You had… you'd never been drunk before…" he held his sobs inside 

"What… I can't drink now?" He asked angry as he puked a little bit more. Sasuke stayed quiet for a moment and Naruto kneeled again to throw all what was left inside him up. He reached his throat with his fingers as the last big wave of puke came up and he finally felt better. He sat in the bathroom floor lowering the cover of the toilet bowl and stared at Sasuke with a softened face, waiting for the black haired boy to do something. The other boy leaned closer and sat in front of him giving a look full of worry and sadness. 

"Why did you do this, Naruto?"

"Why did I do what? Puke? Because I was drunk…" he said in irony. 

"You know that's not what I mean-"

"Then what do you mean. Damn it! Just be clear!" 

"Why did you leave? Why did you runaway and got drunk? You never do this, dobe"

"Sasuke… I'm tired. This conversation is not being useful and, you know what? I think I'm ready to go to my own house" the blond started to stand up and make his way out of the bathroom after flushing the toilet. He walked fast as he grabbed some of his stuffs and walked determined to go away and not allow Sasuke to convince him to stay there. He was heading to the front door but stopped when he heard it. 

"Naruto!" The scream came from the deepest part of Sasuke's core. His voice was cracked and there were so many feelings in the way he pronounced his name. "Don't leave me… I need you to know… I have to tell you-"

"Tell me what, Sasuke? That you're with Sakura now but you feel too much pity of me to tell me?"

"No, no, no…" he cried silently. 

"Then what… you want to tell me to leave you alone and not bother you anymore? Well, don't bother. That's exactly what I'm gonna do…" he turned around and reached the door with his hand. 

"I love you! Naruto. I love you. I always have, and I always will…" he finally let those words out. He was so scared of being rejected but at the same time it took tons off his shoulders. He had said and it wasn't that hard. 

"Wh-what did you say?" He asked in a barely audible voice. 

"I love you, Naruto. I love you, I love you, I love you! I'm in love with you!" And with that, he fell on his knees squeezing his eyes shut…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this was supposed to be a one shot story. And I swear it was! Then it was going to be a two shot but I keep writing and writing and ugh…! I'm sorry.   
> Thanks to everyone who was taken the time to leave kudos and especially to those who have commented. I'm a very fragile minded girl and it took me years to be brave enough to post anything I ever wrote, so every time I read your comments my soul strengthens. 
> 
> I love you all and I truly hope you're enjoying!


	4. I said it but it doesn't matter anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!!!! :D
> 
> I'm so so so sorry I took so freaking long on updating this story. I have no excuses. Well, I actually do but I don't think anyone wants to hear about me being sick and my son having minor surgery. 
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than the others, but this is the beginning of the end :P
> 
> Thanks to all of you who came and left kudos and comments. It's thanks to all of you that I could actually retake this and keep going. 
> 
> I truly love you all who have read this and I can only say thanks <3

"I love you, Naruto. I love you, I love you, I love you! I'm in love with you!" Sasuke said and with that, he fell on his knees squeezing his eyes shut…

Naruto stood there almost paralyzed for a couple of seconds. "I love you…" those words he'd been expecting to hear for so so long. Those words that he dreamt about almost every night. Those words that were supposed to make him the happiest man alive but right now, they where just stabbing him right in his chest. 

"What?!" He screamed suddenly. "Why… why in hell are you telling this to me now! Why now!? Why… Sasuke!?" The desperation was clear again as he screamed. 

"Because I do!" Sasuke replied from the spot he sank in. Naruto turned his back to the front door pushing himself against it and a sudden dizziness took over him as he left himself slide down to a sitting position. He swallowed down the sickness threatening to come up once more and shut his eyes in an attempt to make the numbness go away. He almost couldn't feel his body, he only felt the liquid gathering inside him and he brought one hand to his eyes and the other supporting him in the floor. He waited until he was able to speak again. 

"Do you know how long I waited for you to say that, Sasuke?" He said softly, still afraid of throwing up in Sasuke's living room floor. "Do you know how many times I dreamt about it? But… not now, Sasuke. Not like this" 

Sasuke stood up from where he had fell and started running to reach Naruto as he could see the blond was feeling sick again. He just wanted him to understand… he needed for him to believe in his words. He almost hugged him in the floor but Naruto stopped him putting one hand in front of him so he couldn't get closer. 

"Naruto…" he said, not knowing what was happening. Then he noticed a couple of tears going down the blue-eyed's cheeks. 

"Can you just do me a favor? Only one? Make Sakura happy. Please. She truly loves you and I know you love her too. You both deserve to be happy…" Naruto said and he stood up and ran outside quickly. He was desperate. He felt sad, heart-broken and sick and he didn't want to puke in front of Sasuke once more. He had to runaway quickly. To his bad luck, obviously Sasuke went out following him and, not only that, Kakashi and Shikamaru were at the corner by Sasuke's apartment. Kakashi had told Shikamaru what he had seen when he had arrived and Shikamaru also told him what had happened at Sakura's apartment. Since Kakashi had sent Sasuke looking for Naruto, they knew where they would probably be at and they wanted to know if they were fixing things up or, as it actually happened, if Naruto was going to go away. Both of them were scared because a drunk Naruto was at least twice as dangerous and unpredictable than he normally was. That was bad… to say the least. 

"Oh shit" The blond said in a tone that only himself could hear. He knew those two were there because they cared, but he just didn't want to see or talk to anyone. In fact, seeing them there and seeing Sasuke pursuing him triggered a desperate feeling on him to just disappear. 

"Naruto!" Kakashi called from the corner. 

"I'm fine, sensei. I'm just going home. I'm not drunk anymore so please just leave me alone" he said hoping they wouldn't want to walk him home but he was wrong. Kakashi followed him anyway while Shikamaru went to stop Sasuke from following the angry Shinobi. At least he could be thankful for that. He heard Sasuke screaming from afar but he just sped up and went away. Kakashi followed him close but Naruto walked as if he didn't even notice him. He turned in one corner and Kakashi lost sight of him. He ran and called for him and he found it strange that Naruto was actually waiting for him around the corner. 

"I'm fine, Kakashi. But if taking me home will make you feel better then let's go…" he said coldly. The silver haired Jonin just nodded and walked by his side.

"Thank you. I'm gonna be fine so please don't worry, ok?" That's all the blond said once they reached his apartment. Kakashi saw him getting in, shutting the door behind him and he left hoping that the blond was actually saying the truth. What he didn't know was that as soon as Naruto made it inside his house, he disappeared in a puff. 

Somewhere around the forest outside the village, the real Naruto was releasing the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and he was running away as fast as his body allowed him to, not knowing where he was heading but not really caring about it…


	5. Don't leave me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes to my dear *effie34* since she asked me for "things to get worse before they get better" ghehehe. 
> 
> I hope nobody wants to kill me after this. The next chapter is the last and the happy ending is coming :D (and hopefully I won't get carried away again)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's passed by and please leave a comment or kudos if you would like to help me feel better and give me your thoughts on it, requests for it, suggestions or anything at all. 
> 
> Thank you and I love you all!

Tears freely fell from the corner of that pair of blue eyes. They almost didn't even make it to those whiskered cheeks because the wind of the forest kissed them away instantly. Naruto cried hard, but the more he cried the faster he ran. He just wanted to be as far from Konoha as possible. Everything suddenly became so overwhelming. The love he felt for the black haired boy who seemed to break him over and over again was simply too big for his fragile heart. The weight of his friends and people he cared about knowing about that love was finally falling over his shoulders too. Once again, his love and care for Sakura was also hurting him. For real. Not like when he was a kid who thought he was in love, but as an adult who finally realized that he loved his friend so much but she didn't care for him back. And last but not least, the "I love you"s. He dreamed about the moment when Sasuke would finally say that but not even once in his life he imagined it would end up being so painful. It was crashing him. 

_For the first time in his whole life, he was broken and ready to give up._

Naruto ran non stop for about an hour, until he was as far as he could and finally his legs gave in and fell on his hands and knees in the darkness of the forest. The nausea that he had managed to control for the last hour took over and he puked for the fifth time that night. He didn't know anymore if it was still because of the alcohol or if it was just the nervousness and pain he felt. He retched and spat as he clenched his stomach hardly for way more time than it was normal, he coughed and puked until everything turned blurry and then… black… 

Sasuke at the same time was still fighting with Shikamaru. He claimed that no one had the right to take Naruto away from him. That no one had the right to get in the middle of them. Shikamaru said he agreed. He knew that there was nothing anyone could do in the matters of a couple but Naruto had had enough for today. He calmed Sasuke down and explained that he should give the blond Shinobi some space and time. He needed to understand that it was useless to talk to Naruto when he was like this. Not to mention no one had ever seen the blond boy as out of control as he had been in the last five hours or so. Finally, Sasuke walked with Shikamaru back to the Hokages hill. 

"He was here when I found him, Shikamaru. Look around. How do you want me not to worry? He pointed around to show the boy in the ponytail all the empty Sake bottles and the vomit pool that still rested by a nearby tree. "He threw up at least four times and… and… I know something's wrong. I just… I know" 

"Look, Sasuke. I'm worried too, ok? Of course I am. That baka there… he is my best friend-"

"Yeah but you're not in love with him!" Sasuke cut Shikamaru off, who was speaking with a clear tone of sadness. 

"Sasuke…" The Nara boy raised his hand and the raven boy immediately stayed quiet and lowered his head. "If you're going to react like this, then we won't be able to talk"

"No, wait. Oh fuck… I'm sorry, ok? I'm just nervous. Scared. I'm sorry" he said and the ponytailed boy was surprised. Sasuke apologizing was not something you see often… or ever… for that matter. 

"It's fine" Shikamaru sighed and he walked near a tree and sat down, making sure there was no puke that would get him dirty. It was clear that Naruto had expelled pretty much all the Sake he had drank (and probably everything he had eaten before that). He signaled Sasuke to sit down with him and the raven man obeyed. 

"You need to calm down, Sasuke. Naruto needs time to think and to calm down too. He won't hear you if he's like this" Shikamaru said calmly as he usually did. 

"Why are you so sure about it?" Sasuke questioned.

"Look. The thing is… all those years that you were away, I got to know Naruto pretty well. It's like when we all found out about you being a criminal but we didn't know why. He did know. We had all decided to kill you but he stood up against us, after he met you, when the Danzo thing happened. No matter how much we tried to make him speak or to make him understand, he wouldn't hear any of us. He was just sure he could stop you and bring you back. You probably don't know this but he went looking for the Raikage to beg him not to do anything against you, after the Killer-B thing. He wasn't heard. Before that, he was badly wounded by some cloud ninjas because he refused to tell them anything about you. Then Sakura went to him and… she said some… things… to make him stop looking for you but he didn't care. He was really upset-"

"Sakura? What did Sakura tell him?" He asked with worry killing him. He knew Naruto was as vulnerable to Sakura as he was for himself. 

"It doesn't really matter anymore"

"Shikamaru, please"

"Oh man…" he sighed. "Sakura told him she loved him"

"What?!!"

"She lied. When she went to look for you on her own, she said that to Naruto to make him stay away from you"

"But… but-"

"He didn't believe her. He knew she was lying. Then Sai confirmed it and told him she was planning to kill you on her own. He… he…"

"What, Shikamaru. What happened to him!!" 

"He had a panic attack. He couldn't breathe and, well I wasn't there, but Kakashi and Yamato were with him, they said he just clenched his chest in pain and he couldn't breathe and… he was unconscious for the next couple of days. He doesn't know I know about that. No one else does, by the way" 

"Oh my god…" Sasuke covered his face with his hands and some tears started to flow by his cheeks. 

"Don't take me wrong, ok? I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad or anything. I just want you to understand that when he's like this… and when it's about you… he's blind and deaf. He won't hear you right now no matter what you do. Just like with us. He didn't hear us and he stopped us all from getting to you even if it meant to be desperate and alone. I was around him all this time and I can tell he's in pain right now. So please… please give him some time" Shikamaru almost begged. 

"Why wouldn't he tell me any of this…" he said after a soft sob escaped. 

"He would never do anything to make you feel worse. He knows how much you've been through-"

"He didn't have to suffer all of that on his own! Fuck!" He cried

"He always does that, Sasuke. You should know that. And you do the same, you baka!" he stayed in silence for a while and Sasuke did the same. Shikamaru was right. Naruto would always just smile and keep going no matter how much pain he had to go through. Sasuke wouldn't recognize his pain either. Ever. 

"So… you do love him?" Shikamaru asked shyly. 

"I do, Shikamaru. I really do. That night… three years ago… when he came to me and told me he loved me-"

"You'd never been happier…" Shikamaru said first and Sasuke looked at him with wide eyes. 

"How in hell do you know that…" Sasuke softly laughed feeling defeated. 

"I look at you… that's all. We're comrades after all. I always knew you had feelings for him. I just knew they weren't as strong as Naruto's ones were or as strong as your revenge desire was…"

"How stupid I was, huh? I left my love for him aside and I lost it all. I lost my brother, I lost my village and now… I lost him…" Sasuke said to Shikamaru sadly. All of his emotions were coming out, things were falling into place now. 

"You haven't lost him. C'mon Sasuke. You have done so many things to him. You tried to kill him! And he stayed with you. It won't be different this time. Just let the storm pass and… well… think about a really good excuse because Naruto had never got mad at you. No matter what. So you will have to fight for him this time"

"I will do anything, Shikamaru. Anything at all. But, why do you think he got this angry this time?" He asked truly doubtful. 

"Sasuke… you have done this like a hundred times since you've been back in the village. He didn't just get mad this once. He always does. I guess this once he was more vulnerable… who knows why. And… I'm sorry to tell you but even I started doubting your love for him after I saw you with Sakura today. You two had never been so close to-"

"Stop it! Oh please stop it. I know! I'm so stupid. I should never ever drink anymore. The thing is that I can't even stand Sakura when I'm sober. I don't know why I let her do that to me when I'm drunk. It's just… Fuck!! I'm such a bastard!!" 

"Yes, you are. But Sakura isn't the example of a good friend either. She knew you guys were in some sort of weird kind of serious relationship. I don't know why she took advantage of you"

"It's still my fault. I should have pushed her away long ago" 

"Well, there you have your answer. Naruto is gone now because you should have stopped this a long time ago and he just got tired. I heard Kiba was sent to look for you before the party. Is that so?" 

"Yeah…" Sasuke made a pause as he started thinking. "That's it, Shikamaru! Sakura sent Kiba to look for me and Naruto heard it since he was there with me. When I went to look for him, he was breathing heavily and his hand was pressing his chest hard. He knew this was going to happen. He told me he didn't want to go there and I made him! I forced him to join me and I left him alone again! Shit! I'm a mother fucker!" 

"Well… I'm sorry but… yes, you are"

"I'm scared. I have a bad feeling" 

"A bad feeling?"

"Yes. A bad feeling. Shikamaru we should go look for him" a sudden wave of fear took over Sasuke's whole body and he trembled. 

"But-"

"I mean it! Shikamaru something is wrong. I can feel it!" He panted in fear and despair. "If you want, I will stay away, I won't bother him but please, please we need to make sure he's fine. He was about to throw up again when he left my apartment. I don't want anything to happen to him. Shikamaru please!"

"Fine! Look. Let's go look for Kakashi. He walked Naruto to his house. He must know about him" 

"Ok, anything you want but please just let's go" And they took off to look for the silver haired sensei. 

"Kakashi!!! Kakashiiiiii!" Sasuke shouted as soon as they were close enough to the masked Jonin's house. "Kakashi please!!!"

"Sasuke, calm down. You will give Kakashi-sensei a heart attack!" 

"Ma… ma! What the hell is happening now!" Kakashi shouted back from his bedroom window with a sleepy voice and a messy appearance, he was definitely sleeping already. 

"How's Naruto?" Sasuke asked desperately. 

"Oh god… what's the problem now, Sasuke…" Kakashi asked annoyed. 

"Just tell me where he is!"

"I left him in his apartment. I stayed there until he locked his door" 

"Are you sure?"

"Uhmm… yes! I have two eyes now. I'm pretty sure I know what I saw" Kakashi answered throwing a confused look to the ponytailed boy standing next to Sasuke. He just shrugged and answered with the same confused look. 

"Something is wrong. Kakashi, something is wrong!" He screamed. 

"Sasuke…"

"Damn it, Kakashi. Please! Go check on him with Shikamaru. Please!!!" 

"But Sasuke-"

"Please!! Please… I need to know he's fine. He won't want to see me. Just go take a look at him and that's all! Please!" Sasuke cried and Kakashi thought that he had to do this. Sasuke would never do this unless he really felt something was seriously wrong. 

A couple of minutes later they were walking in Naruto's direction. Sasuke sped up and he was starting to get annoyed by having to wait for the other two every thirty seconds. He didn't complain because, after all, they were doing him a favor. He was just so worried because the pain in his chest kept screaming at him that something was wrong. 

Once they were there, Sasuke stayed around the corner so Naruto wouldn't see him and he watched as Shikamaru and Kakashi made their way to Naruto's door. 

They knocked several times and suddenly Sasuke's bad feelings were starting to make sense. There were no sounds or signals of the blond Shinobi being inside. Some minutes later Sasuke heard them screaming Naruto's name and his heart stopped for a second as fear almost paralyzed him. His feet moved on his own and he was instantly with the other two. 

"What's happening!!" He asked with angst and despair. 

"He's not answering the door, neither our calls" Shikamaru answered. 

"Shit!" He screamed and he remembered how Naruto opened his door when he forgot his keys. He took the key hidden in the flower pot and opened it and ran inside. There were no signs of the blond Shinobi. Nothing. Everything was intact and the footprints Naruto had left disappeared right in front of the door, as if he never actually got into the house. Sasuke fell to the ground sliding down the wall and the three of them finally knew that they had to freak out…


	6. I have to find you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this was going to be the last chapter. I swear! But once again I got carried away! I'm so sorry!!!!! :'(
> 
> I decided to post it like this because otherwise it was going to be way longer than what I'm used to post and I didn't want that. I try to make it enjoyable and not boring. I hope you guys don't hate me :/
> 
> Anyway, let's get to the important matter. Here's the new chapter!! ^^
> 
> Keep feeding me back please! Your words are my world *hugs everyone tightly and doesn't allow them to breathe*

"He's gone! I told you guys something was wrong!" Sasuke desperately screamed from Naruto's living room door. 

Shikamaru went through the whole apartment searching for the blue eyed Shinobi while Kakashi kneeled down in front of the desperate raven boy. 

"Why do you think something's wrong, Sasuke? He might just have gone to have a walk or something…" he tried to soothe the boy in front of him. 

"He told me to make Sakura happy, Kakashi. He told me that I loved her and he told me to make her happy!" Sasuke sobbed! He knew perfectly well that Naruto wasn't just having a damn walk. This was serious. He needed to find him but he didn't know if his body was actually going to respond since he was uncontrollably sobbing and trembling now. "I don't want to make her happy, Kakashi! I want her fucking away from me! I want to make Naruto happy!" 

Shikamaru got back with them after finding absolutely no signs of Naruto in the house and he heard the last part of what Sasuke said. He might be right. Maybe there was actually something wrong, very wrong. When Sasuke saw Shikamaru coming back from inside the apartment he stood up and grabbed the slightly younger Shinobi by his shoulders. 

"Where is he, Shikamaru. Please tell me he's somewhere around here!" He cried and spoke in despair. 

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. He's not here" Shikamaru said and something strange came from inside him making him hug Sasuke softly. The black haired boy hugged him back tightly as he cried louder and harder every second. Kakashi looked at the scene stunned as he had never seen Sasuke clinging onto someone like that. Shikamaru waited a few moments and then he grabbed Sasuke's shoulder taking him a bit further from him so the other boy would look at him. 

"We will find him, Sasuke. I promise you I won't let anything happen to him. I promise" he said while looking deeply into the black eyes of the crying boy. He nodded back and took a few shaky deep breaths to try and gain some composure. "Maybe we should talk to Godaime-sama? The Nara boy suggested looking at the older Jonin who just nodded and the three of them went to find Tsunade. 

One day had to pass and it was going to be one week since Naruto had disappeared. Sasuke cried every night and he stayed in Naruto's house now, sleeping in his bed and filling himself with his scent. The rest of the day he was making Tsunade miserable by begging her to send him looking for Naruto. The Hokage had sent shinobis looking for him but she hadn't allowed Sasuke to get involved because he was too desperate. That afternoon, things were no different. 

"Tsunade-sama please!" He begged. 

"Stop it, Sasuke. This is not up for discussion!" She shouted back at him. 

"Ok, but at least, promise me you won't send Sakura in this mission"

"May I ask why you're asking me for that?" She asked seriously and avoided eye contact with the boy. She didn't want to intimidate him. 

"She… uhmmm… it scares me that maybe they could actually find him and… she could say something stupid to him and he will runaway again" he said with a shaky voice as he was about to cry again. 

"Calm down brat. I won't send her. I know the deal between the three of you and I understand your fear" Tsunade answered calmly, which worked on easing the boy a little bit. 

"Thank you, baa-chan" he said unconsciously. A blush took place in his face when he realized what he had just said. "Hokage-sama, I mean. I'm so sorry!!" He lowered his head frenetically apologizing. Tsunade laughed softly. A hint of sadness as the memory of Naruto came to her mind. 

"You truly love him, don't you, Sasuke?"

"More than anything in this world" he said with his cheeks still bright pink. He still felt a little embarrassed but he decided to never ever deny his love for Naruto again. Never!

"If they don't find him today… can I please join the mission tomorrow? It's going to be one week tomorrow and… and… I can't stand this anymore. Please, Tsunade…" he said while a few tears escaped his eyes. 

"Fine, brat. If you promise to be calm enough, I'll send you if they come back empty today. But only if you are under control!" She spoke firmly, almost threateningly. Sasuke nodded quickly. "Look… I'm worried too, Sasuke. Naruto had never done something like this to me ever since I've known him. No matter what he went through, he always came to me and stayed prepared if I needed him. I won't allow more than one week pass without him being back. That's why I'll send you. Just as he always fought for you and managed to find you, I know you will find him"

"Tsunade, I will do anything to bring him back. Anything" Sasuke said emotionally. 

"Can I ask you what did you do to make him like this?" She asked calmly again. Sasuke blushed once more. 

"I… uhmmmm… I" he sighed deeply. "I got drunk and allowed Sakura to get all over me… again… He thinks I love her…" he replied sadly. 

"Do you?" The Hokage asked right back. 

"No! No, no, I do not!" He almost shouted. 

"Are you sure-"

"Completely! Geez! Sakura is only an old teammate for me. Nothing else…"

"Then, may I know why did you let her get to you?" She spoke seriously as she went to sit in the couch and took Sasuke with her. 

"I was just being stupid, Tsunade. Somehow I'm still the same selfish bastard I was before Naruto saved me. Somehow I was still so afraid of loving him…" 

"Why?" She said softly taking a hold of his hand. 

"I was afraid of losing him. I… damn it… I don't know! I was so ashamed of myself. Naruto gave up his whole life for me. He fought for me even if I tried to kill him or to hurt him. No matter how many times I tried to break our bond, he stayed with me. I felt so bad. When he came to me, when he told me he loved me… how could I deserve him! How can someone like him love someone like me…"

"Naruto understands you, Sasuke. He's carried around your pain with him through all these years. He knows how hard everything has been for you. He knows that there's nothing in this world that can pay you back everything the world took away from you. He loves you so much he can't stand seeing you suffer. No matter what, he always knew your pain was probably bigger than his own" 

"But that's not true! He has suffered as many horrible things as I have myself. The difference is that he's way stronger than I am" 

"Sasuke, you've been through a lot. You lost your family, you witnessed things you never should have. Do you remember when you were younger? And you told him he could never understand you?"

"Yeah…" he remembered painfully. 

"Jiraiya went through the same thing with Orochimaru in the past. Naruto talked to him a lot about that. It's such an irony that Naruto felt he actually was inferior to you even when he lost Jiraiya. When he died, Naruto though he could finally understand what you felt a little bit more, but never completely. That's why he would always do anything he can to protect you. He never wants you to go through any more pain. Jiraiya was the only family he had-" Tsunade told Sasuke with a nostalgic tone and Sasuke interrupted with a question. 

"Family?"

"He never told you Jiraiya was his godfather?" Tsunade questioned back to the boy, kind of already knowing the answer though. 

"No… No, he didn't"

"When Naruto's mom was pregnant with him, Jiraiya had just written his first novel ever. Minato and Kushina read that book. Jiraiya wanted to change the world with that novel and Naruto was the name of the hero in there. So… Naruto's name came from Jiraiya's novel. The Yondaime took it from it… Don't you think it's weird that in the end Naruto does have the power to change the world?"

"It's not weird at all. He was always one to change it all. He changed his own faith. He changed the villagers' hearts. He changed the Shinobi world and most importantly, he changed me. He made me feel true happiness for the first time in my life. Somehow… all of this… Jiraiya, his novel… it was all meant to be. Tsunade I don't want to lose him. Please don't let me lose him…" he cried and threw himself in the Hogake's arms. She was absolutely surprised. She stayed still for some seconds before she returned the hug. Naruto truly did have that strange power to change people, and it was so deep that it even changed Sasuke's way to deal with life. He was finally showing love and care for people, and she was sure Naruto truly saved him. He saved Sasuke from the deepest darkness and that kind of love deserved to be saved… to be given a chance. 

The door of the Hokage's office was knocked and they were forced to break their hug. Tsunade gave Sasuke some time to clean up his tears and she dried some of her own before shouting the people outside to come in. She made her way to her desk and Shikamaru, Kiba and Shino entered the room. 

"Nothing, Hokage-sama. We think we might have lost him only by a few minutes, an hour maximum. Akamaru lost track of his smell and Shino's insects also lost track of his chakra. It's like he vanished in that spot of the forest. We could have looked around a bit more but there were no traces and you told us to get back here before it could get dangerous" Shikamaru told the Hokage all the details. He sounded so frustrated because he felt he had been so close but it came to nothing in the end. 

"Where did you guys lose track of him?" Tsunade asked. 

"Almost 25 kilometers from here, at two o'clock, through the forest" Shino said in his usual inexpressive voice. 

"The good thing is that neither Akamaru nor I noticed any blood smell or any signs of battles, so he's probably in good shape. Not injured at least" Kiba added. 

Sasuke listened carefully to everything the three chunins reported. He stayed silent, only registering every detail they mentioned until Tsunade allowed them to leave. 

"Ok, brat. Tomorrow is your chance then. Who do you want in your team?" Tsunade asked to the black haired Shinobi. 

"Team? I don't want a team!" He kind of shouted. 

"What?! What are you talk-"

"If I find him, I want to do it on my own. I have so many things to tell him, Tsunade-sama. I don't want anyone else being there!" He insisted as a slight blush appeared on his features. 

"Uhmmmm…" Tsunade replied thoughtfully. "I see, but I'm afraid I cannot accept that. It's too dangerous-"

"C'mon! It's me we're talking about. I'm the only one who can compete with Naruto!"

"Anyway… I will only allow you to go if you take a team with you. You have until tomorrow to decide who you want to take. And now leave! I'm tired, brat! We're done here" she sighed, tiredly. 

"Understood, Tsunade-sama" Sasuke said serious, hiding a mischievous smirk as he left the Hokage tower. 

Sasuke went to his house and he prepared his Ninja equipment. He started thinking of a plan and he made a list of all the details he had heard before in his mind. Anxiously, he waited until it was a bit later. This needed to be done in secret. 

When midnight passed, Sasuke started his plan. The first thing was going to Kakashi's place and convince him to give him what he needed. He also had a plan for that. He started his journey carefully through the trees and roofs of the village until he was on top of Kakashi's apartment. He started sliding through the walls until he reached the Jonin's bedroom window and he carefully knocked. 

"Kakashi!" He whispered and knocked again. "Kakashi, please!" He tried once more, making the whisper louder but keeping it as low as possible. Suddenly, a messed figure appeared in the window. Kakashi slowly opened it and got ready to say something but Sasuke was inside his bedroom before he could realize it. 

"Shut up and listen to me" Sasuke said firmly. 

"What the hell do you-"

"I need you to lend me Pakkun" he simply stated. 

"Damn it, Sasuke! Care to explain at least?" Kakashi said angrily. 

"Please, Kakashi. Just listen to me" he said and he kneeled down, half because he was way too nervous and half begging his former sensei. "Tsunade allowed me to go looking for Naruto, but I have to wait until tomorrow and I have to take a team" he explained. 

"And what's the problem with that?"

"Kakashi, c'mon!! I want to be alone with him. C'mon, you have to understand. He's my mate. I want to make him my boyfriend! Officially! I don't want anyone to be around when I find him!" He told him without being able to suppress the red color taking over his cheeks. 

"Oh my! Do you want to-"

"No!" He screamed in shame! "We haven't… we've never…"

"You haven't had sex with him?" Kakashi asked loudly with wide surprised eyes. 

"Damn it!" Sasuke covered his face with his hands. "No… ok? We haven't done it" he spoke through his hands. 

"Can I know why?" 

"It's not like I haven't tried! But he never allowed me to. But now that I think about it… he probably didn't do it because he thought I didn't love him. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't do it unless he's sure we're both… in love. And since I never had the courage…" he looked away thinking about that and instantly remembering how stupid he's been all this time. 

"I see…" Kakashi said and inside, he felt proud of the man Naruto had become. A small smile hid under his mask. "So what's the plan…"

"If you give me Pakkun, he will be able to trail any bit of smell or signal Naruto could've left. Plus, I have detailed information about the last place he was lost track of. With Pakkun's help, I'm sure I can find him" Sasuke told Kakashi his plan with a tone full of hope, just like his dark eyes. Kakashi couldn't help falling for it. Sasuke had never been like this. So motivated and so excited about something. He had never been so alive. 

"Fine… fine. But damn you if you get yourself or me in trouble. Tsunade will go crazy when she finds out. You better come back with him!!" He said trying to sound threatening but Sasuke didn't really buy it. He only cared about going to get Naruto back as soon as possible. 

Kakashi took a deep breath and then screamed "Kushiyose no Jutsu!" And Pakkun appeared in a puff, looking sleepy. 

"Kakashi, what do you want?" The dog asked a little bit annoyed. They explained the plan and finally, finally! Sasuke could go looking for his beloved blond and bright blue-eyed Shinobi…


	7. Let me find you in one piece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for all the time it's taking me to update. These past weeks have been hard… to say the least. But here's the next update. The end is coming!  
> This chapter kind of sucks but anyway… I hope you enjoy.  
> Please leave some feedback. I NEED IT

Sasuke had had to put on his sweetest puppy eyes and plead for Pakkun to accept doing this along with him. The dog was very serious about being a Konoha Shinobi and running out of the village in the middle of the night wasn't something he liked. Doubtfully, he agreed to go, only because he had come to care for Naruto deeply and with the story he was told, he knew he needed to be worried about the blond kid. Right now Sasuke and Pakkun were jumping over the trees full speed on the direction Shino had mentioned and Sasuke had memorized. 

"2 o'clock across this forest, Pakkun. We need to go about 20 kilometers ahead. That's where they lost track of him" the raven boy told the dog. 

"I still can feel a bit of his scent. If we hurry I may be able to track anything that the other three may have missed. Let's go!" The dog ordered and Sasuke sped up as much as his body allowed him to. They ran and ran across said forest until they finally reached the spot Shino had mentioned. 

"This is it. Can you feel anything, Pakkun?" Sasuke urgently asked. The dog started pacing around and working with his nose and all the rest of his senses. Sasuke waited anxious for the dog to say something. 

"Come here. Follow me!" Pakkun said and he took the 11 o'clock direction this time. "The kid did a really good job hiding his traces. No wonder why the others missed him. I don't think it was intentional though"

"What do you smell?"

"I'm sorry to tell you, Sasuke, but the smell of alcohol is very well mixed with the weak hint of Naruto's. I can barely feel his smell like this. I think he might be in that small village 4 kilometers from here. If we're lucky enough, he might be too drunk to have left and he might still be there. The alcohol smell does not seem to come from this spot, it seems to come from that village to here, somehow mixing with his scent. Maybe he was around here and then came back to that village?" the dog explained as he kept running full speed, wondering what the situation might be. Sasuke flinched at the memory of Naruto puking his guts out in his bathroom. He felt fear of watching the same scene again. He could only stay silent as they both continued to jump around in the journey to find the blond. 

Naruto on his side, had wandered around for six days. He had taken only one bottle of sake for the trip that had no destination. He kept the bottle for the first days so he didn't get drunk but he didn't eat anything either during those six days. The routine had become him running fast, getting as faraway form Konoha as he could until he collapsed anywhere around the forest because of his weakness. He probably had lost some weight as he ran non-stop the whole day without eating or drinking anything at all. By noon on the sixth day away from Konoha, he had felt the presence of people near the spot he was in. He remembered a small non Shinobi village that they had passed through a couple of times during past missions and he thought he could finally open his sake bottle because he was gonna be able to get more in that place. He opened it and drank abundantly again as he kept walking slowly towards the small town, his hand supporting his own weight against the trees every now and then. The sake burned his throat and esophagus painfully as he was empty. The pain reminded him of Sasuke. Everything reminded him of Sasuke. Naruto had come to be unconscious of the tears that fell from his eyes a couple of times everyday. It's true that he had spent more than three years with nothing but Sasuke in his mind but this time it was different. It hurt him in a different and deeper way. He wasn't thinking about the Sasuke avenger. It wasn't the Sasuke that was desperate for power but somehow remained deeply connected to him. This time, the Sasuke that was stuck in front of his eyes was the one that had gotten rid of all the hatred and darkness but was still breaking their bond apart. 

With that thought on his mind he arrived to that small unknown town. He threw the now empty bottle in the first trash can he found and he started his search for a place to get more alcohol. For the first time, he was out of place, he was defeated and all the pain and every single struggle he had gone through in the past came heavy over his chest. And the same way, all of the strength and power and will he had had in the past was nowhere to be found. He felt trapped. He felt so small...

The blond with blue eyes found a little bar almost by the edge of a river, far from the center of the village, that seemed to be the only opened place where he could get what he wanted, taking in account that it wasn't even 1 pm. He came in and sat for a while and started drinking small shots of whatever it was they were giving him. After a few hours he got bored. His stomach burned in an awful way but, as always, it was taking a lot more alcohol than it was healthy for him to erase his mind. He paid the bill and took a couple more bottles of "sake", if we can all it that, and he returned a few meters into the forest. He wanted to be alone. He didn't want anyone seeing him. When he felt comfortable enough, he took a seat down against a tree and started his journey to oblivion. He drank as much as he could but as his body had started to feel numb and clumsy, his mind was still pretty clear. That took him to the edge. He finished drinking and he stood up feeling furious. He punched the tree in front him with all his force, but a week of no eating and a high amount of alcohol saved the tree from being ripped off the ground. That didn't save his knuckles from bleeding though.

The evening was falling over the village and he thought that it was better to find a place to stay in. He wasn't planning to spend a calm night of sleep, no, but if he was going to try and erase himself at least for the night, he preferred to do it within four walls and not in any unknown street. Near the center of the village he found an inn. He registered and asked an old nice lady for a room at the bottom of the place so he wouldn't be heard of bothered by anyone. The lady tried talking to him but he was like... out of his mind. He tried smiling to her but she knew something was killing the blond young man that she had found sweet and nice and she wondered what could've happen to him. She handed him the key to the room and he asked for alcohol. The lady tried to make him get some food too but he didn't accept. He just asked for as many bottles of whatever drink they had and he locked himself up in his room. No good things were waiting for Naruto right now, but he couldn't care less... 

Pakkun followed the weak traces Naruto left but once they were further into the village, the scent was stronger. They found the bar he had been in earlier but Pakkun knew he had been long gone by now. In fact, it was already 3 in the morning, which was pretty good if you think that they came out of Konoha by midnight. They kept walking until finally Pakkun found the inn. They had first walked passed it but as the smell became weaker, he knew that was the place. 

"He must be here, Sasuke" The Shinobi dog said with a serious tone. Worry evident as the smell of alcohol was so strong and there was now a hint of blood too, from Naruto's knuckles, but they didn't know that. Sasuke shivered and started trembling as he made his way inside the inn. He saw the same old lady that had received Naruto around 4 hours ago. Something told him she could help him but his body took a moment to react. Actually, Pakkun had to give him a soft bite to make him move. The fear was paralyzing Sasuke's limbs, he didn't know what to expect... what was he going to find. 

"Hello, young man. Can I help you with something?" The old lady asked with her characteristic sweet voice and a smile on her lips. Sasuke was looking at her directly in the eyes but still, his mouth couldn't emit a single sound. 

"Do you need a room to stay in?" She asked again, trying to make the young black haired boy speak. Nothing... until Pakkun bit him again. 

"Ouch! Dammit, Pakkun!" He said trying not to scream. 

"Do something! You teme!" The dog replied. 

"Oh... uhmmm. Actually I'm looking for someone. Uhmmmm... have you, just in case, given a room to a blond boy? A blond boy with beautiful blue eyes and wonderful whiskered cheeks? I need to find him" Sasuke asked shyly but the lady could tell his eyes were brighter when he mentioned the blond boy. She could also sense the fear he felt of what her answer was gonna be. She knew he was probably talking about the boy she'd seen before and knew his worry made a lot of sense. She was actually worried too but it's not like she could do much. But maybe... maybe this other young man could...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the update was short and boring but I swear I'll try to make it up to all of you with the big finale. I'll do my best.   
> By the way, I made some edits and corrections in the earlier chapters so if you want to read again, you're officially invited to do so :)  
> I love you all guys and thanks for hanging in there for me.   
> Any feedback will be more than welcome. I'm in desperate need for it. 
> 
> Love you all!!


End file.
